11-11-11 Fears Close Great Pyramid

“Egypt has closed the Great Pyramid outside Cairo after rumours that groups would try to hold special rituals on 11 November at 11:11”, claimed the BBC earlier today. The Great Pyramid was indeed closed, but Egyptian authorities said it was for routine maintenance only. The Associated Press noted an increased police and armed military presence in the area. Discovery News reported that Atef Abu Zahab, the head of the Department of Pharaonic Archaeology, has said that the decision came “after much pressure” from concerned Internet users.

The Egyptian news website Ahram reported ‘Meditation ceremony to save Planet Earth at Pyramids cancelled’.

Something called the “Cheops Project” was apparently intending to place a small crystal pyramid inside the sarcophagus of King Khufu (aka Cheops), whilst people ringed the pyramid outside, holding hands and chanting. Andrzej Wojcikiewicz, president of the Polish foundation Dar Swiatowida, which sponsored the event, said that this was intended to create a protective shield around the Earth. “I do believe the Great Pyramid was built to save the earth by a much more advanced civilization and not by the ancients,” Wojcikiewicz said in an interview on YouTube.

Other rumours spread on the internet concerning a group of Jews plotting to erect a Star of David on the apex of the pyramid and claim it for the Jewish slaves they claim originally built the structure.

After the clock ticked past the critical time, director of the pyramids complex, Ali al-Asfar, told members of the press, ‘Everything is normal’.

At least, that is, until 12-12-12.